When I first started the CET language program in late August and early on into the program, I felt like I could handle the language pledge (no speaking English through out the entire 3 1/2 month long CET program except for emergencies and communicating with friends and family back home). I didn't really fear it though I knew it would have its difficulties. I thought my three years in Nanning had adequately prepared me to immerse myself in Mandarin. I mean I had lived in a Chinese environment for so long, three and a half months of strictly speaking Mandarin wouldn't be that bad.
I was wrong.
I usually have no problem practically communicating in every day life with my teachers, with my roommate and my classmates as well as when I go out or do errands. But the hardest/ most frustrating part is often socializing in Mandarin; talking with others about personal interests beyond a superficial level (beyond "I like sports" " I like politics") can be difficult. I'm often struggling to find the right words or structure to express deeper ideas and thoughts in Mandarin. Sometimes they don't translate well from English to Chinese. This often manifests itself when I go out with others to a bar on the weekends. In this kind of situation I want to casually share my thoughts or experiences with other people but that often can be a struggle. This hinders my ability to connect with other people (Chinese and American) and get to know others. At the same time it constrains my personality and how I normally express myself.
Moreover, the constant need to speak in Mandarin can often tire me out. Though my proficiency and knowledge of Mandarin is relatively high compared to my CET classmates, having to constantly use it to express simple as well as more complex ideas that I don't really know how to naturally convey, can lead to constant mistakes and weighs on me mentally. At times it just makes me not want to talk which in social situations or activities which makes me seem aloof.
Experiencing the language pledge has reinforced what I realized when I lived and worked as a English instructor at Guangxi University in Nanning, China: a foreign language is like a straight jacket. When you are immersed in it, you are limited in what you can say and in how you express yourself. Only with time and practice can you loosen that straight jacket but even then it still constrains you in significant ways. I think learning to practically communicate with others becomes easier but expressing deeper thoughts and ideas still can be difficult.
In Nanning, I mainly communicated with others in Mandarin for everyday purposes like ordering food, taking a taxi, and ordering drinks at a bar. I didn't have many Chinese friends so I largely hung out with other Westerner in an English language bubble so I didn't have the constant Mandarin social environment that I have at CET. The language pledge shatters the potential for the English language bubble and forces you out of your linguistic comfort zone. I do notice considerable progress in my oral skills: mainly increasing fluency and expanded vocabulary to discuss in-depth a broader range of topics.
Despite the progress, the language pledge remains an uphill battle: a torturous, frustrating and, at times, tiring process that I have far from mastered.
But I think I am moving in the right direction.
I was wrong.
I usually have no problem practically communicating in every day life with my teachers, with my roommate and my classmates as well as when I go out or do errands. But the hardest/ most frustrating part is often socializing in Mandarin; talking with others about personal interests beyond a superficial level (beyond "I like sports" " I like politics") can be difficult. I'm often struggling to find the right words or structure to express deeper ideas and thoughts in Mandarin. Sometimes they don't translate well from English to Chinese. This often manifests itself when I go out with others to a bar on the weekends. In this kind of situation I want to casually share my thoughts or experiences with other people but that often can be a struggle. This hinders my ability to connect with other people (Chinese and American) and get to know others. At the same time it constrains my personality and how I normally express myself.
Moreover, the constant need to speak in Mandarin can often tire me out. Though my proficiency and knowledge of Mandarin is relatively high compared to my CET classmates, having to constantly use it to express simple as well as more complex ideas that I don't really know how to naturally convey, can lead to constant mistakes and weighs on me mentally. At times it just makes me not want to talk which in social situations or activities which makes me seem aloof.
Experiencing the language pledge has reinforced what I realized when I lived and worked as a English instructor at Guangxi University in Nanning, China: a foreign language is like a straight jacket. When you are immersed in it, you are limited in what you can say and in how you express yourself. Only with time and practice can you loosen that straight jacket but even then it still constrains you in significant ways. I think learning to practically communicate with others becomes easier but expressing deeper thoughts and ideas still can be difficult.
In Nanning, I mainly communicated with others in Mandarin for everyday purposes like ordering food, taking a taxi, and ordering drinks at a bar. I didn't have many Chinese friends so I largely hung out with other Westerner in an English language bubble so I didn't have the constant Mandarin social environment that I have at CET. The language pledge shatters the potential for the English language bubble and forces you out of your linguistic comfort zone. I do notice considerable progress in my oral skills: mainly increasing fluency and expanded vocabulary to discuss in-depth a broader range of topics.
Despite the progress, the language pledge remains an uphill battle: a torturous, frustrating and, at times, tiring process that I have far from mastered.
But I think I am moving in the right direction.